Staying on the Humorous Side - Of Kitchen Gadgets
I'm a sucker for those "As Seen On TV" kitchen gadgets.
Present me a woman in a dated hairdo and a pantsuit, waving her hand over a seventy-five-piece plastic monogrammed meals packaging and storage system, and my pulse starts to race.
Present me the whole family frolicking (is that also a phrase?) by means of the meadow with the canine and the handy dandy monogrammed meals packaging carrying case on wheels with the drink holder and photo voltaic radio, and I'm diving for my credit score card.
Inform me that for just a further dollar, I can get a complete set of chrome steel knives guaranteed to cut metal and to outlive three generations, and it is no longer a need - no longer a necessity - it has grow to be an I will need to have this or I'll die - forget braces for Junior, Mamma needs a meals storage system.
My husband tried to block the channel after I ordered him thirty-seven button-me-easy kits that promise to exchange your button in thirty seconds without the need for needles or thread. He mentioned it would have been a good suggestion, if most of his shirts had buttons.
It occurs again yesterday. Just when I've barely recovered from the ramifications of ordering a lifetime supply of underneath-the-mattress sweater organizers that emit a lilac scent - I see her white teeth and that acquainted pantsuit, and I'm underneath her spell again. This time is different. This gadget is the king daddy of all gadgets - the Air Sucker 2000 - breaking all information in high tech kitchen gadgetry. Put your meals in the bag, slide the bag by means of the sealer and it sucks all the air out of the bag and keeps it recent for the rest of your life - just as recent because the day you place it in. We're pondering of utilizing it on Nice Uncle Fred. You possibly can seal pork chops, chicken, steak, salad, soup, and even a pint of your canine's blood should he ever need a transfusion. This is able to have been a handy factor to have when Uncle Skeeter lower off his toe with the weed whacker and we needed one thing to hold it in.
That is revolutionary. This may save us thousands and thousands of dollars in wasted food. This, I've to have. I determine to order three - just in case they cease making them. "What are you doing?" my husband asks in an accusing tone as I'm reciting my credit card number to Susie who swears the Air Sucker 2000 changed her life. How does he do this? I've to yell for help four times when I super glue my foot into my new shoe (lengthy story). It takes ten minutes for him to come to my aid when I get my hair caught in the drain (even longer story). We have now a useless squirrel on the front porch for 3 days and he doesn't even notice. Pick up the telephone to try and place a tiny little credit card order and it's like I blew a canine whistle.
I inform Susie to please maintain, roll my eyes, and clarify to my husband, whereas attempting to be affected person, that that is one of those essential purchases. "You do NOT need that," he says, gritting his teeth. He should actually be taught to handle stress more effectively. "Yes. I do." "Such as you wanted the battery operated Bug-Be-Gone for the pool?" He could be fairly sarcastic when he wants to be. "Hey, you mentioned your self that was good concept," I point out. "We don't have a pool!" he growls. I cling up the telephone before Susie can call 911 to report domestic violence and observe my husband to the kitchen where he is standing together with his arms crossed, carrying that look he will get when he is about to win an argument. Uh-oh.
"Open that cupboard," he barks. "Come on. Open it. And inform me what you see." I do not appreciate his tone. "Let's have a look at," I murmur. "There's the green pepper spiraler....the vegetable blender with the pasta attachment...the six-speed juicer with the sleeve to hold the morning paper...oh, this is that cute serving tray with the ceramic pigs in bikinis on pool floats...and the pasta colander that turns right into a centerpiece...and I'm not likely certain exactly what this factor is..." My voice trails off as I crawl deeper into the cabinet. "What's that behind the silver-plated cake stand that sings comfortable birthday?" he asks whereas I drag out a mud-coated contraption and skim the phrases on the aspect: Air Sucker 2000.
Out of the blue it comes dashing back - November, two years ago. I still bear in mind the day it got here in the mail. I was so excited. I was convinced that this revolutionary merchandise would change my life. I by no means could work out the way it worked. It was missing three items, would not work on any speed but high, made an awful screeching noise, blew a fuse, and was wider than my counter top. I wrapped one piece of chicken (which remains to be in my freezer, thanks very a lot) and decided it wasn't worth the effort.
Okay, okay, so maybe my husband has a point. He's still just a little mad. It's probably better that I do not inform him there are three more Air Suckers in the basement.
About The Author
Taylor has been writing articles on-line for nearly 8 years now. Not only does this creator focus on humor, you too can check out his newest website on the right way to convert MP4 to AVI with MP4 to AVI converter which also helps people find the best MP4 to AVI converter on the market.
tags:humor
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